so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
