yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I didn't shave. On purpose
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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