the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
