The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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