You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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