I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
