Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
