I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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