you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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