You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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