Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
