so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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