i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
