we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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