how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
