So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
