When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
