Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
