It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
