You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
