He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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