It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
