i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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