you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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