Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
