youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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