And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
