so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
