yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
