I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
