i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
pray to the hookup gods
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
