my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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