ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
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