somebody snuck up and got me drunk
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
