Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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