yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
