Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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