Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
