Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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