tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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