brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
