at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
