I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Drake has all the answers
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