do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
