Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
