I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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