just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
