I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
