discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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