Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
